You know those beautiful reactions that a baby’s picture gets when posted online.
The “my ovaries”, “oh, so cute”, “cuteness overload”- this is the funniest to me, “I want a baby” reactions.
I bet you are reacting the same way now looking at the beautiful boy in the image above.
Let me break it to you now; it is not the same.
It is not as it is!
There is no doubt in the statement that a mother’s love for her child is unconditional. Babies are wonderful, precious tiny humans. I would want some babies later too, but the stress involved in taking care of a child alone is not usually discussed.
Now that I think of it, how will it even be spoken about?
We live in a society that shuns the complaint of women.
Oh! How dare you, a woman, complain about taking care of a child. Your child? The child that some women fervently pray to God for? Why are you so ungrateful?
Trust me; you don’t want to complain, especially when it took long before you gave birth.
Whether it was your decision or not, the society we live in doesn’t care. You must never complain. A child is a blessing!
Imagine a typical Nigerian system; a woman gives birth to a child, and her job gives her three months of maternity leave. Husband will have a two-week paternity leave at most because he is not needed to take care of the child. After all, he doesn’t have breasts.
The woman, all alone, will have to face the stress of bathing, feeding, regular dressing and undressing, and constant watching of the child while also meeting her own needs.
Oh! Did we forget that the woman has needs too? That she would need to bathe, sleep, eat, and take care of herself too? I know we didn’t forget.
Postpartum recovery, which unfortunately is being left for the mother solely by the society, has for long been taken care of by the Igbo tradition, Omugwo.
Omugwo is the care a woman receives after delivery, also known as postpartum care. It is a tradition among the Igbos and one of the best traditions I have seen in our society.
When an Igbo woman gives birth, her mother comes to her house and stays with her for three months. Some may extend it.
During this period, the mother teaches her daughter about motherhood — caring for the child, caring for herself, and different child-caring techniques that she would have never known. The mother also helps her daughter to take care of the child.
In this period, the woman takes care of herself and gets as much rest as needed for her full recovery. It doesn’t matter how many children the woman may have; anytime she gives birth, the mother would come and take care of her child.
Mother-in-laws help in this process too. It just really depends on the family arrangement, but whatever case it may be, a mother will be there with her daughter or daughter-in-law to help her recover fully.
It is a beautiful thing to experience, and you may understand better if you have seen this before.
No woman is handed the motherhood knowledge when she gives birth. No woman automatically knows it all. It takes a lot of time and practice too.
Therefore, women should be able to seek help on motherhood without being guilt-tripped. Organizations should also give men paternity leave just like they give women too.
In the end, as much as we rely on society for a change, the Igbo tradition has got its people covered. What our elites, despite all their literacy, didn’t see, the Igbo tradition saw and has provided support in the best way they can.
Omugwo: a tradition that considers its people’s mental and physical health. I will always be in awe.
Igbo kwenu!
